i WILL continue to post my own tiktoks because i am very funny
Condi posted on twitter!
[Image ID:
A cropped screenshot of a tweet by Condifiction @/Condifiction. It reads “*Epic Rap Battles of History Announcer Voice*
CHIP
VERSUS
THE ALLEGATIONS
BEGIN!”
End ID]
Anonymous asked:
Why did the batfam get turned down for a job?
incorrectbatfam answered:
Interviewer: How much experience do you have with kids?
Dick: *flashbacks to prying Tim and Damian apart while Jason eggs them on*
Dick: A good amount.
———————
Interviewer: Can you pass a criminal background check?
Jason: No.
———————
Interviewer: We got a reference from your old coworker, Alvin Draper.
Tim: Oh, that was fast.
Interviewer: He says you suck.
Tim: Pfft, yeah. Some old workplace beef. You think he’d be over it by now.
———————
Interviewer: Do you have a valid driver’s license?
Damian: Tt. Age limit this, driver’s license that. If this was truly a free country I can get by without one.
Interviewer: Normally I’d agree with you, but we’re a traveling petting zoo.
———————
Interviewer: Tell me about—
Killer Croc: *throws a car outside the window*
Duke: Um… gotta use the restroom. Be right back.
[10 minutes later]
Duke: *slides into his chair*
Duke: Where were we?
Interviewer: I was asking you about—
Scarecrow: *plants a fear gas bomb across the street*
Duke: I think my phone’s ringing. One moment please.
———————
Interviewer: It says here you were fired from the movie theater. Can you tell me why?
Cullen: I spoiled the end credit scenes of Marvel movies.
Interviewer: And how can we be sure it won’t happen here?
Cullen: This is Hot Topic, right?
———————
Stephanie: —long story short, I decided “to heck with it” and went to prom with an inflatable Riddler clone named Fernando. I’m sorry, what was your question again?
Interviewer: …How are you?
———————
Cassandra: *shows up*
Interviewer: For the last time, we’re not hiring!
———————
Barbara: There’s a typo in your job posting. I also found that your LinkedIn page needs to be updated. Here is my full analysis with all my suggestions. And of course, assuming your application portal is up to date, you can see that I meet all of the qualifications.
Interviewer: Except you must be 35 to run for president.
———————
Interviewer: Why do you want this job?
Harper: Money.
Interviewer: Other than that.
Harper: *thinks for a second*
Harper: No that’s it.
———————
Interviewer: What’s your greatest strength?
Carrie: I’m double-jointed. I can bend my fingers like this. See?
———————
Interviewer: Please explain this gap in your resumé.
Kate: Don’t tell me what to do.
———————
Interviewer: Have you ever stolen from your workplace?
Selina: Never.
*interviewer’s wallet falls from Selina’s pant leg*
———————
Interviewer: And why should Wayne Enterprises hire you?
Bruce: My name is literally on the building.
———————
Interviewer: We’re sorry, Mr. Pennyworth, I don’t think you’ll be a good fit for us. I heard the Waynes are hiring next door, though.
Alfred: This is preposterous.
Alfred: *leaves*
Alfred: *goes next door*
Alfred: Good afternoon, I am here for—
Martha: Oh thank heavens, he’s here.
Thomas: We’re late for our conference. Keys are under the mat, the bed still needs to be made, and the baby took a huge crap just now.
Martha: *hands over baby Bruce*
Alfred: I supposed I’m hired then?
Baby Bruce: *blows a snot bubble*
Alfred, chuckling: At your service, young master.
Anonymous asked:
"Sorry to sound dumb but there's gotta be an easier method of cutting out characters/objects from photos and isolating them on transparent backgrounds than going in with the lasso tool and an eraser, right?"
Perhaps try stabbing them with Yamato?
dante-winning-archive answered:
Great idea! Hey, @vergil-losing-archive! Give me the Yamato.
You want *my* Yamato brother?
You want to make pngs like this?
You want *this* power? Then come try and take it.
I had a feeling you'd say that...
Welcome to Mimic Ikea! Don't worry about it.
is Mimic Ikea one large mimic housing many smaller mimics?
Don't worry about it
The plot of DMC5 is "local man comes back to his hometown to pursue his interest in gardening, only for his family to make a big fucking deal about it"
slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha
creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker
/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door
r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.
r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.
mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.
indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on
also get peer reviewed.
Scp horror:we tryed feeding it to the lizard(tm) neither it or the lizard are dead so we put it in a box
Vergil devil may cry is he/she/they. to me
This gem couldn't be left in the tags
paper-mario-wiki